never the same

a year ago....we left to our side of the world to meet these beautiful faces, these lives, this country of Ethiopia touched our lives and I was never the same.

I can't help but sit and wander back in my mind to where we were as a family a year ago.  On our way to meet our daughter, then just 7 months old.  It was such an intense time full of anticipation, love, the unknown, hope.   A year later I am in awe of it all.   At moments it feels so far away from where we are today.   Then in other moments I feel like apart of me is still there.  Perhaps it is both.

I just went back and read the few posts I was able to write while in Ethiopia.
They bring it all back and more.

links to last years Ethiopia posts:

we met our daughter today    (we met Tessa the day after we arrived)
this is big love            (going to Hosanna, Tessa's birth place, coffee ceremony & birth family meeting)
no mascara needed     (emotions...emotions....)
at last....photos of Tessa   (finally able to take photos outside of the care center at the guest house)
i will, i will...   (leaving Tessa's birth country and bringing her home)

When we went to Ethiopia I knew I would feel many things and tried to prepare my heart and soul.  I did not want to protect it, I wanted to open my heart and soul up, take it all in.  To be able to feel it for myself and also to fully share with my daughter one day.  I never knew how it would change me, make my heart grow.  When in Ethiopia, if you allow yourself to see and feel the injustice of this world's inequity, the poverty; when you really look into the eyes of the mothers, fathers and children; you are forever touched by this country..... but you can also feel the hope.

Tessa's name is derived from her Ethiopian name "Tesfanesh" literally meaning "you are hope"
Everyday I hold this hope in my arms, every day.  To have been entrusted with this hope and the life of one of Ethiopia's children, is both a privilege and one of God's miracle.   It has left me forever grateful, forever changed.  Quite simply, never the same.