Really? 14 months!

Really...it has been 14 months of official waiting.  And as I think about it I realize it has now been 2 years since we officially started this process.  Wow.  I am so glad we had the foresight to start when we did.  Jack was such a peanut (9months) when we started, but I remember thinking that it would make for a good age difference between he and our daughter.  I do think that is still true, but the wait is wearing on me.  Some days I do really well with distracting myself.  And for a while I wasn't on edge about it, knowing it wasn't time.  Then last week with all this talk about the upcoming court closure, my mind is on things much more.  I really feel like we are incredibly close so whenever the phone rings my heart skips a beat.   The other day the pediatric office called and said "Is Jennifer there?".  I responded with a very excited, "Yes, this is!".  She must have thought I sounded like a nut, because then she said "This is Katie from Pediatrics...Drew's culture was negative".  Oh.  Anyway, that is what it has been like lately.

The agency is hopeful that anyone who receives a referral by the end of this week will pass court in Ethiopia before the court closure.  Our specialist has said "You are soooooooo clost.  We just need a bunch of referrals.  It is going to be a close one."  AHHHH!!!!   So, now I need to work on accepting, once again, my lack of control in this process.  It is very likely we will hit the court closure and have an extra 2 months added to our wait to travel to our daughter.  Now I am focusing on just receiving the referral and all that that means:  we will know who our daughter is, we will be able to see her photo, we will know her health and social history, we will know she is safe and being cared for at the care center, we will KNOW....   I will hang on and hope that the next blog post is "the post"!!

Here are some recent photos of us enjoying the lake.  As you can see, we will need to find a new name for the boat!  Next summer for sure!

Ready and waiting!

On May 17th it was 13 months of waiting...and so we wait for the referral for our sweet girl.  Since, I can't control anything about any of this I went into high gear and finally completed her bedroom.  It may sound supertiscous (spelled incorrectly...I am too tired to try and figure that word out today!!!), but it feels like maybe if I get her room totally ready for her that the universe will know it.  Somehow, now I am sending the energy into the universe that we are totally ready...her room is adorable and waiting for her!  Silly, it may be, but what the heck why not!  

As you could see in one of the photos Jack hasn't totally given up the idea of the crib being for our little girl.  He likes to crawl in it and say "My crib".  He doesn't seem to mind all the pink!

If you are reading this please send a message into the universe for our sweet girl...to bring her to all of us, to keep her safe, healthy and wrapped in our love.

P.S.  All the fabric for the bedding and curtains was designed by Melissa Averinos.  Her blog is www.yummygoods.com     I LOVE her style!

And we wait...but the fiddleheads are popping up!

  


The wait for our sweet girl's referral continues...over 12 1/2 months and counting.  I am distracting myself with all kinds of art projects, house projects and gardening.  This weekend Juddy had his first day of soccer where I saw a baby who looks EXACTLY how I imagine our sweet girl.  Well, after a debate in my head, I decided to approach the Daddy holding him and asked the question "May I ask you a personal question?"  He said, "Yes", but was probably bracing himself.  Of course, I was asking if his son is from Ethiopia and he answered "Yes!".  I explained why I asked.  He understood and we started talking.  The baby was smiling at me and looked so happy with his Daddy it just got me all emotional.   Darn it!  I wish I could control that part of me better!  So, I got teary and started the "ugly face" cry for a moment.  My sunglasses couldn't hide the tear on my cheek.  Well, it was a tear of joy for my sweet girl, but also to see such a happy family and baby united.  I hope we will get to know this family better as they live fairly close.  It will be great for our families to know other Eth-Amer Families!  And so the wait goes on.  I am not on pins and needles, but have settled into the extended wait and am trusting the process as best as I can.  But, I can hardly wait!!!!

This weekend the fiddleheads are popping up in our backyard near the stream.  It is so beautiful to see their shapes and the way they appear to be snuggling together.  I just LOVE fiddleheads.  What is so special about them is that they remain fiddleheads for just such a short period before they bloom fully into ferns.  They remind me of children in how fast they change and must be cherished.  And they remind me of a family in how they are all curled together.

One year and waiting...

One year and waiting for our sweet girl.  It has actually been longer, but it is "officially" one year since we were added to the "list" at the adoption agency.  So many feelings and thoughts are going through my mind..."I know she is out there",  "She must be born",  "What is her first family going through?",  "Is she being cared for and loved?", "Is someone giving her everything she needs?"...and the list goes on.  Many unanswered questions.  My heart always feels heavy in knowing that our daughter and her birth family will have to go through a great loss in order for us to be united with our sweet girl.  It goes without saying...but I feel it should be said and acknowledged.  Our specialist at the agency has given us a heads up that we could get the call anytime between now and the next month and a half.  With that whenever the phone rings I think it could be CHSFS calling with our referral.  I am trying to stay busy and distract myself, but that is also in conflict with my desire to be connected to this process...the good and bad.  So, I am in the middle of that, some days I do better with distracting and other days I do better with connecting.  The phone just rang...Margo...not CHSFS.  See?!  It stops me in my tracks.  ;)  

I took this photo of my beloved orchids that Andy brought home as a surprise for me...likely to bring me joy while we continue to wait for our sweet girl.

10 months waiting for our sweet girl....

These flowers have brightened our home and today I am dedicating them to our sweet girl.  We have now been on the waiting list 10 months!  This period is winding down and hopefully in a couple months I can write that we have a referral and know who our sweetie is.  But for now I know she is out there somewhere...whether she is born or not can't be known, but she is definitely out there and on our journey to us, just as we are on our journey to her.  I am also thinking of her birth family and what they might be feeling.  My heart is heavy for whatever they are going through that will bring our daughter to us.  Their loss and grief will be our gift and joy.  It is difficult to reconcile, but it is my hope that they have hope for her and that is what brings them to this decision.

In the meantime, I will continue to nest...her room is half painted and will soon be all "cotton candy" pink!  Painting her room and creating the space that we will bring her home to makes it all feel more real than ever.  We reman stagnant on her name.  I have my favorites and Andy hasn't really been able to determine a favorite yet .  I shouldn't be surprised as it wasn't any different with the boys.  Once they were born, Andy was really able to be present in the naming process.  I think he needs to be able to place the name with the child and has difficulty with that any sooner.  So, I suspect that while I love the fun of discussing names that we won't really be able to narrow it down until we see our daughter's photo.  For now I love Elodie, Olivia, Ruby. 

I think her given name in Ethiopia will likely be her middle name.  I can't imagine taking that away from her, especially if her mother named her.  I feels so important to me to carry that with her.    More to come in that department as well.  ;)

That is today... February 17th., 2009.

Waiting 9 months, 10 days

We have officially been waiting 9 months and 10 days today...but who's counting!  I am!  As the wait time lessens the anticipation intensifies!  She is out there somewhere and hopefully in April we will have the news of who our sweet girl is.  I can hardly wait.  The waiting thus far has been manageable.  I suspect it worsens terribly once we have the referral, with her photo and information!  Imagine!  Then we wait for the court process in Ethiopia and for our travel next summer (hopefully).  In the meantime, I feel like I have been nesting like crazy!  Decorating, painting walls and furniture, ordering the fabric and bedding for our sweet girls room and even transitioning Jack to his  big boy bedroom.  The last is not an easy task.  I am sleep deprived from his night wakings and constant escapes from his room.  This too shall pass, right?!  He is a our spirited 2 year old, but also so darn adorable and lovable!  Of course, at the moment he is napping, otherwise he would be climbing on my lap trying to touch these keys!

 

Last week President Obama was inaugurated!!  Jack and I embraced the moment together.  Check out this photo of Jack.  I was so excited that it was contagious to a 2 year old!  What wonderful hope there is in the spirit of our country.  Truly a moment to remember.  I am proud to be American and that our daughter will be coming to this country during this time of hope and change.

Adoption Update

Recently we have heard from our adoption agency, Children's Home Society & Family Services, that the referral time has lengthened.  I had a strong feeling that this may be the case and so I contacted our social worker.  I don't know why, but when I would tell someone that we may get our referral this winter it felt like it might be premature.  Well, my instincts were correct and the wait on the "list" is at about 12 months from the time you submitted your dossier.  Our dossier was submitted on April 17th....so that puts us at April for the referral and then we would travel 12-16 later.  So, this summer we could be traveling to Ethiopia to be united with our daughter.  I am trusting that god, the universe, is constructing this journey just as it should be to unite us with our daughter.  And the more I think about it...maybe Jack will be that much easier by the time she arrives.  Heres hoping!  That's where things stand today...September 17th!

Oh, side note....I am headed to Chicago for an Oprah taping tomorrow!  YAHOO! Can't wait... it is a Dr.Oz show on gender differences.  Should be lots of fun!

Thinking of our Ethiopian Daughter

With so much to say about my journey to Africa, it is not lost on me that I haven't yet mentioned our daughter. Traveling to Africa felt on a very deep level like I was making a connection to our daughter. Of course, Swaziland is a very different country than Ethiopia, and yet I couldn't help but feel like just being on the continent and experiencing Africa was coming a bit closer to our daughter.

With each day that passes we are getting closer to her. As I met children and saw the expressions in their faces I wondered what her face would tell me. As I visited the clinics and walked the roads that the mothers walk, I thought of her birth mother. Where is she right now in this moment? What is she feeling and experiencing? What are the reasons she will come to choose adoption for her child? Are any of the reasons related to what I saw for myself in Swaziland? These are questions that may never be answered, but as I left Africa I left a part of my heart there and thought to myself...I'll be back and next time it is to bring you home, Sweet Girl.

In this vein, yesterday, Marcie (my dear soul friend here in Monroe) bought this amazing photograph for my birthday at Madison's Art Fair on the Square (see link below). Marcie called me over to this photograph, by Lisa Kristine, of a young Ethiopian girl in front of a red door. She is looking right into your soul and it brought me to tears. Immediately, Marcie insisted on purchasing it for me as a gift, and I have to say it is the perfect gift for several reasons. This photograph, given as a birthday gift, represents to me the year ahead. The girl looking out of that photo speaks with her eyes directly into your soul. The red (the color Marcie is always drawn to) door in which the girl stands before represents to me the door we are opening to a new life and love in our family this year. It is absolutely the most amazing and beautiful gift. I love the image and I love that Marcie gave it to me...a new year ahead of new life and love for all of us. Thank you Marcie....
Please see this link to see all of Lisa Kristine's amazing work!
http://www.migrationphotography.com/

Check! Fingerprints done!

Last Friday, Andy and I had an appointment in Milwaukee to have our fingerprints with US Dept. of Homeland Security! It was a whole day event to travel there and back, but we did get to have lunch at P.F. Chang's, yummy. It is a step forward in the adoption process to have this complete. We are certain nothing other than a few speeding tickets will come up! This is all apart of the process of helping our future daughter enter the country. We have only been officially waiting a couple weeks....we likely have some time ahead of us being #235 out of 245 families waiting!

Message from our Sweet Girl

Today is the Big day that my Mommy sent off the dossier to the adoption placement agency, CHSFS, in Minnesota! All of the paper chasing for Mommy and Daddy is complete and the dossier will be reviewed by the social worker at CHSFS. CHSFS will need to add some of their documents and then within a week the dossier is off to the Ethiopian Embassy to be approved. Then the dossier is off to the capital city of Ehtiopia, Addis Ababa, to be translated and prepared for court. Then my Mommy and Daddy will receive a referral for me!!!! It could be a wait of up to 9 months before the referral for me comes... once the the referral for me is accepted by Mommy and Daddy they will travel to me about 2 months later!!!

Please think and pray for my birth parents and all the people that will be caring for me before I am in their arms.

Love,

Sweet Girl from Ethiopia

Today, April 8th

It has been a busy week....Jack has recovered very well from his ear tube surgery and is like a new kid! He is so cheerful again and is sleeping great! YEH!!! Now we really realize how fussy he was and uncomfortable for so long. Jack loved playing outside in the gorgeous weather this weekend. These photos show him getting into the play-area and yard clean-up, which was a family affair!

This week has also been very full for me with pulling our adoption dossier together. Lots of document to be notarized, certified by the state, passport photos taken for the dossier (not for our passport), medicals completed...the list goes on. I have one more document to recieve from the state and then the dossier will go to the adoption agency, CHSFS! Then the dossier is completed with their paperwork process and then goes to Ethiopia! It is quite a process that takes a lot of determination! Juddy has been asking alot of questions lately about our baby girl, like "Where will she sleep?", "Where will she sit in the car?". I think he is starting to imagine her being apart of our family more and more. Drew is interested in where she is coming from and likes to look at the map. Of course, Baby Jack is clueless and has no idea how this little girl is going to rock his world! It will feel so real once we can show all of the boys a picture of their sister...then their heads will wrap around the concept even more!

I am working hard on the fundraising event for AIDS Walk Africa and the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. I am checking into permits, port-a-pottys, food, painting signs and gathering items for the silent auction. Lots and lots to do!! I hope people come, have fun and that we raise $$$ for the children!

It's official...our homestudy has been approved!!

At last, we received the word today that our homestudy is approved! Yeh! It was a long process, which I won't go too far into because I am just glad it is over! What it comes down to is that the homestudy and placements agencies believe we are fit parents and therefore capable of adopting a daughter! There is some validation in our parenting! It really feels like a big milestone in this adoption journey. However, don't be decieved, there is still a long journey ahead of us. I have to get the homestudy certified by the state and another copy goes to the Homeland Security & Immigration department for approval. Then we pull all of our documents, of which I have almost everything already ready to go, and send those to the agency, who then send it on for more approval by the Ethiopian Embassy and then finally to Ethiopia......enough of all that. Needless to say, it is a task oriented process. But instead of gaining baby weight and more stretch marks, I am gaining baby patience and stretching my energies to complete every little task to bring her home! I have a stack of paperwork to go over with Andy...I better do it while he is having a glass of wine. Basketball is on so it may be a challenge! Actually, Andy is really excited and the wine was for us to celebrate this milestone!



Today I completed a painting for Andy which I have been working on for a while. It is based on a quote by Lucian de Crescenzo (not sure who he is..) that I found. The quote "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing eachother". I love that quote and what it represents. For me, it was the perfect painting to express my relationship with Andy. That's today, March 27, 2008 -a day in the life of the Rikkers!