fiddlehead.....every changing, ever growing

fiddlehead....ever changing, ever growing

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mud Puddles!

Jack and I had more fun today than should be allowed!  After preschool we came home to such a rainy day and huge mud puddles in the driveway, which is gravel right now and will be cement by next week.  It was just too tempting!  So, I ran for my camera to capture Jack jumping in puddles.  Clean up was a warm bath...well, worth all the dirty fun!

We are waiting for the Ethiopian courts to re-open in October to be assigned a court date.  I am crossing my fingers that we may get one in later October.  It may be wishful thinking, but why not!  The sooner the better!  Tessa is always on my mind.  I love to look at her sweet photos and can't wait to hold her.  Oh sweet girl we are so excited to know you!  It can't happen soon lets keep hoping for court to come soon and to be extra lucky for a quick travel date!  More on all of that as the fall is the first day of fall!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Life is but a dream....

You know the song   "Life is but a dream"... ?   It is stuck in my head!!
Here are the Dion
Will you take part in my life, my love?
That is my dream

Life is but a dream; it's what you make it
Always try to give; don't ever take it
Life has its music, life has its song of love, love

Life is but a dream, & I dream of you
Strange as it seems, all night I see you
I'm tryin' to tell you just what you mean to me

Wo I love you with all my heart
I adore you & all your lovin' charms
I want you to do your part
Come here to my open arms

Life is but a dream, & we can live it
Oh we can make a love none to com
That is my dream
m (life is but a dream

That pretty much sums up how I feel!  Life is a dream for me and I am so grateful.  To top it off, we are having the most beautiful weather and somehow it feels like it is reflecting just how joyful I am feeling.  

We have now given our sweet girl her first name...drum roll, please......Tessa!  Her name comes from her Ethiopian name Tesfanesh, which means "you are hope".  We had never considered this name before her referral and it is unlike other names I had been obsessing about for years.  Tessa feels like a very beautiful and special name from both us and her Ethiopian name.  What is really wild is that one of the meanings of Tessa in Greek is "fourth child"!  I had already fallen in love with this name, while talking with Marcie, and then looked it up on-line and saw that it was fate!  And as I look at her photos I see a little girl who to me looks like Tessa.  

Life is but a dream...sweet Tessa...sweet Tessa... sweet Tessa....sweet Tessa....sweet Tessa...sweet Tessa

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Please join us in celebrating!!!! Referral!!!

Please join us in celebrating the referral for our sweet girl!!!!  Here we are with a referral for a beautiful 10 week old baby girl.  We are blessed beyond measure and over joyed!  She is healthy, healthy, healthy.   She is beautiful...with big brown eyes, baby smooth brown sugar skin, and beautiful long curls.  I wish I could share the 2 photos I have with you but I can not until we pass court and she is officially our daughter.  We feel so much love for her and can't wait to have her in our arms and bring her home.

Her given name is Tesfanesh.  I believe the name is pronounced just as it is spelled.  It is a bit of a tongue twister!  For now, we are calling her "T".  Eventually, we will know what her name will be.  I already have many thoughts, but we haven't decided just yet.  I can say that her name literally means "you are hope".  How perfect is that!?  It amazes me actually....this journey to her has all been about hope!!!

Everything appears to be in order.  No problems with issues that could cause delays.  This is a comfort to us.  We will now wait to be assigned a court date, hopefully this fall, and then after we pass court will make arrangements to travel about 8-12 weeks later.  We are hopeful that she could bring her home when she is 6-7 months old!  

The boys were very excited to see T's photo.  I gave each of them a photo turned upside-down and had them flip it over at the same time.  This photo shows their reactions!   yeh!

Thank you all for your support during this roller-coaster of a journey.  I pray it is smooth sailing from here.  Our hearts are still mending from the heart-break of Tirunesh.    While she is not far from our thoughts or hearts, we are so over-joyed that we have arrived at this place with the referral for our daughter and do not feel that the joy of this has been tainted in any way.  It is just as amazing and joyful!  We will pray for both "T"'s and their adoption journeys to their forever families.  

Art Fair

What an amazing day it was to sit outside at the Northwind perennial garden and show my art work.  I so enjoyed the day with Marcie, who encouraged me to submit my work for the art fair.  We took in all the art, the gardens and goodies all around us.  The weather could not have been better.  It was wonderful!  Marcie's 6 month old sweet baby boy, Max, was such a delight.  He was all smiles and snuggles and even took a nap on a blanket outside.  I got lots of time to hold Max and imagine holding our daughter in the future.  It was a great day to fill myself up with all things beautiful and wonderful...friendship, babies, art and nature!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Please don't turn away...

Please don't turn away...I share this with you for many reasons.  Because my daughter is in Ethiopia, because I am and will always be connected to the issues of Ethiopia, because no child should be starving, and because Plumy'Nut is an amazing nurtitional source that is saving children.  Please consider donating to the following fundraiser to support their efforts to provide Plumy'Nut to children in Ethiopia:

This link and pictures will show you how Plumy'Nut can work miracles.

7 weeks later:
What is Plumpy'Nut? Click below.

Please don't turn away....thank you.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Photo Contest!

These are some of the winning photos from the Monroe Arts Center Annual Photo Contest!

Drew won 1st place and a cash award, which he promptly spent on a Wii game!!  ;)
This photo is called "This Little Piggy".  I love seeing all those sweet toes together.  

This photo was taken by my "Little Sister" Maddi and is called "Midnight Beauty".  It won 2nd place and a cash award!!  I am not sure if she has already spent it.

Juddy won a ribbon for this photo "Drew Jumps In" in the Reflection category.  He was bummed that he didn't walk away with any $$$....but then I reminded him that I didn't either.  ;)  I am so excited that the kids had fun using my camera and hopefully are excited about photography!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Little man Jack

Jack Jack is getting to be such a big boy.  He is constantly trying to go poopy on the potty so that he can get a treat.  He is doing so well with staying clean and dry!  yeh!  Could it actually be possible that I may be diaper free for a while?!!  I will take it!  I just am feeling the need to share these photos of our little man.

He is really into "Cars" and "Handy Manny" right now and will actually sit through a whole Handy Manny show!  That is a beautiful thing.  His imagination is going into high gear.  I will often see and hear him having whole conversations with himself as he plays.  Love it!  

On the adoption front we are doing well.  The pain is easing although Tirunesh and our daughter are never too far from my thoughts.  I seem to be becoming the master of distracting myself, which is really not hard to do around here.  My dear friend, Margo, came for a visit this weekend which has been so fun.    This week I will also be getting all of my artwork ready for my first art fair at Northwinds Perennial Farm outside Milwaukee.  Marcie hooked me up with it and will help me set up.  It is a fun distraction and I may even make enough $$ to pay the babysitter!   The garage is coming along great and now has its earrings on, a.k.a. outdoor lights.  I can't wait to get into the art studio upstairs!  So, as you can see, I am mastering the art of distraction as we wait for our referral.  I have had a lot of practice.  

Thank you all for following our journey, for your love and support.  Hugs to you.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Grief and Hope

To have loved and lost a child I never knew is such a painful experience.  Tirunesh became apart of my heart from the instant I saw her sweet face.  She became apart of our family dialogue every day....where will she eat at the table, where will she sit in the car?  She became apart of our image of our future as a family.  Her name just rolled off our tongues and became the natural and sweet music to our ears.  To say good-bye to those dreams is so painful.

With this grief also comes the realization that we must feel this loss to be able to open our hearts again.  We know that our daughter is still on her journey to us and we can feel the joy and hope in that.  This journey is so much about seeing the hope...there is hope for Tirunesh and for our daughter both.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Adoption Update with a heavy heart

It is with a very heavy heart that I update you on our adoption.  Sadly, Tirunesh's referral is not valid due to problems with the dates and paperwork.  These issues all need to be cleared up by the Ethiopian authorities for her referral to move forward and there is no end in sight for when this may occur.  We have come to a place we never expected to be on this roller coaster of adoption and life.    Because of the fact that Tirunesh's referral is not valid we cannot move forward with her adoption.

 Our hearts are hurting for so many reasons, but mostly because we thought Tirunesh would be our daughter.  We are also trying to take comfort in the fact that Tirunesh is not being hurt by our decision.  She did not know us at all or have any bond to us yet.  She will continue to be cared for and her journey to her future family will continue.  We were of course very attached to this child or the idea of this child in our lives.  It is so strange to have an abstract love for someone you have never met.  Not unlike a miscarriage this feels very much like a loss of the child we never knew.

We are making peace with this situation and are continuing to trust God and the universe's plan to bring our daughter into our lives. It is a difficult realization, but now we know that Tirunesh was apart of that journey to our daughter and she will hold a special place in our hearts.  As we look forward we will continue to trust this journey to our sweet girl and re-open our hearts to her referral.  There is absolutely no telling when that will be but we are next on the list for a referral.   

I will keep updates here in a hope to not have to repeat myself over and over, which feels painful to me right now.  Please do send a prayer out to sweet Tirunesh and that her relinquishment is able to be processed.  We also ask you send your love and prayers out to our daughter, who is still unknown to us, and to us to help heal our hearts. 

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Back to school

Back to School!  All the boys had their first day of school today.  It was different for each of them.  Judson was excited to see his friends, but sad that summer over.  He immediately ran off to the playground to find his buddies and they started playing soccer.

Drew felt really nervous.  Last night he said he didn't want to go and I could feel his anxiety over the unknown that is kindergarten.  This morning he didn't want to leave his room, but then did after deciding to call the neighbors to see if they boys could ride with them.  Drew was excited to go to school with his friends.  So, we all went together to the school and that helped Drew a lot.  Drew played on the playground and when the bell rang grabbed his bag and found me.  We found his teacher and lined him up.  He looked scared and tearful.  I felt the same way.  I gave him a kiss and said, "Have a really fun day!".  I had to exit quickly after so he wouldn't see my tears.  Plus, it was time to get Jack to his first day of school ever at Monroe Preschool (2 mornings a week).  He has wanted to go to school for a long time.  Last year he would have a fit when we would drop off Drew and leave.  He was so excited and went into the room and started to play right away.  He barely needed to say good-bye to me, but I insisted. ;)   He had a great day.  

Juddy and Drew both had great days at school too!  Juddy was thrilled to have friends in his class and said he really likes his teacher, Mr. Barnard.  I was concerned about Drew's day, but his teacher Mrs. Mahlkuck said he had a great day!  Drew was so cute at dinner tonight.  He said, "Mom, you want to hear a secret? ....School is AWESOME!".    What a relief!!!!    YEHHHHH!!!!!

Thank you for visiting the fiddlehead report!