Our hearts are hurting for so many reasons, but mostly because we thought Tirunesh would be our daughter. We are also trying to take comfort in the fact that Tirunesh is not being hurt by our decision. She did not know us at all or have any bond to us yet. She will continue to be cared for and her journey to her future family will continue. We were of course very attached to this child or the idea of this child in our lives. It is so strange to have an abstract love for someone you have never met. Not unlike a miscarriage this feels very much like a loss of the child we never knew.
We are making peace with this situation and are continuing to trust God and the universe's plan to bring our daughter into our lives. It is a difficult realization, but now we know that Tirunesh was apart of that journey to our daughter and she will hold a special place in our hearts. As we look forward we will continue to trust this journey to our sweet girl and re-open our hearts to her referral. There is absolutely no telling when that will be but we are next on the list for a referral.
I will keep updates here in a hope to not have to repeat myself over and over, which feels painful to me right now. Please do send a prayer out to sweet Tirunesh and that her relinquishment is able to be processed. We also ask you send your love and prayers out to our daughter, who is still unknown to us, and to us to help heal our hearts.