This is Big Love

-Hosanna is my daughter's birth place located about 4 hours drive south of the capital city, Addis Ababa. Today we left at 6 a.m. to make the trip to Hosanna to have a meeting like no other. Today was the meeting with birth parents or the person that discovered your child. I can tell you that it is more emotional and heart wrenching than anything I have ever experienced. We have 9 families in our travel group and each of us were so fortunate to have a meeting. We were so hopeful that Amarech would decide to come meet us and she did.

Our meeting with Amarech was beautiful. We were able to ask her questions about Tessa's first days. She gave us so much in this meeting. A connection to Tessa's first chapter in life. We will be able to tell Tessa about Amarech, who she is in her life and her love for her. I won't share the details of this meeting because it is absolutely sacred and for Tessa. But I can tell you it was quite literally one of the most memorable, emotional and beautiful moments of our lives. Amarech (pronounce Ah-ma-resh) has the most amazing gentle, loving presence. God sent her into Tessa's life, I am absolutely certain of it and so is Amarech.

After all the meetings were complete we had a candle lighting ceremony. All the birth parents on one side of the room, all the adoptive parents on the other. The birth parents said a prayer for us and their children in Amharic and we said a prayer for them and dedication to their children for a lifetime. The birth parents passed over the lit candle representing the child to us. Both adoptive and birth parents kissed cheeks and embraced. There were no words, none necessary. In the birth parents eyes was sadness, pain, love and hope. In my eyes and heart was sadness, pain, love and hope.

This ceremony was beautiful, rare and full of love....all this love on both sides of the room for the very same children.

It was the greatest love I have ever witnessed. This is Big Love.

Today was a day that helped my heart grow stronger even more full of love.

To: Judson, Drew and Jack

Dear Judson, Drew & Jack,

We miss you and cannot wait to introduce you to your sister! She is even cuter than in those pictures. I know that is hard to believe. You all will just love holding her little body and seeing how she loves being tickled and smiles. She is a snuggler just like all of you! I got to feed Tessa some cereal with a spoon and give her juice from a small metal cup. She hasn't had a bottle yet, but I think she will love one, because she likes to suck...her favorite thing is to suck on her thumb! Maybe she will like a nuk like Drew & Jack did. You are all the big brother now to Tessa! I can't wait for you to meet her!

It was a very, very long trip here, but everything went perfectly. Someday we will all come here so you can see what Tessa's home country is like. It is a beautiful country. There are mountains in the distance that I can see. Addis Ababa is a busy capitol city. It is very different than life at home. Most people here struggle for everything like food, clean water, clothes. It makes me so very grateful, but also sad that we can't do more. I want you to know that today I met some children your age at the care center that are waiting for their forever families! I bet some of those little boys will get to wear your shirts and play with the match box cars you sent...be sure to tell Nicholas and Cameron this too. There are families here right now that are all bringing home their children that are your age! You should see how happy they are to know their forever parents! I wish I could show you with photos, but we are not allowed to bring a camera into the care center....you know how much that is bothering me!!!

It is the middle of the night here and I should go back to bed. I love you and miss each one of you. Be good to Brianna and be sure to give her a thank-you and hugs for all she is doing.
Mommy and Daddy love you and miss you so much. We can't wait to bring Tessa home and all be together!
Love,
Mama

I hope you are enjoying your treasure hunt!

We met our new daughter today!

There are no words to fully capture a day like today. It was amazing because we met our daughter! I will do my best here to share the day, but knowing that there is far more to share and too few words right now.

After breakfast we went over to the care house with all the families. We all waited with enormous anticipation for each of our social workers to come down and call our names to meet our children. It was something to watch each family go off to meet their child. I was in tears the entire time. Families were being united! At last, it was our turn and we ascended the stairs with a camera-man taping us as we go to Tessa's nursery (with 11 other babies). There our social worker, Meron, held her. She was not tearful or crying and she handed her right over to me. I did the tearful, crying part for both of us! It was beautiful. Andy and I both enjoyed those first few moments and felt so much love that it is hard to explain. We took her down to a carpeted area to play. She mostly just stared at us, even when we offered her toys. She was watching us and seemed to know something was going on. She is so adorable, so snuggly and sweet. No matter what we did to try and get her to smile she wouldn't crack a smile. I don't blame her, I would do the same thing. After a while, I held her in a rocking chair and she fell right asleep on my chest...I have a drool mark to show for it! It was such a wonderful moment. Andy and I were soaking it all up. I was able to feed her and then it was her nap time and our time for meetings and lunch.

Between meetings we were able to have two more visits with Tessa...here her nickname is Tesfu. The 2nd meeting she recognized us, but continued to stare and suck her thumb, which is her favorite thing. The 3rd visit came about an hour later. It was then that we cracked the Tessa smile code! Oh what a smile and how it lights up her face! It was wonderful. We are so happy we had 3 visits with her today, with each visit I know she will grow to trust and know us more and more.

That is about all I have in me for now. This country is beautiful. The most beautiful part so far is the love they have for these children....it is so expressed by them all. I love that. There were sad tears today, but many more tears of joy. It was a beautiful day...one that will stay with us for a lifetime.

For Tessa and me

Take a look at this amazing bracelet!!! It is a silver charm bracelet with charms of Africa, Ethiopia-which also is the shape of an angels' wing and a circle charm which has been hand-stamped with Tessa's names. On one side of the circle charm is "Tesfanesh....you are hope" (Tessa's Ethiopian name) and the other side holds her name given to her from us, "Tessa Amarech". There will be a ceremony in Ethiopia for when we take full care of Tessa and she will receive this bracelet then. I will also be wearing my own matching bracelet (of course!). I love what charm bracelets represent and this one is especially special.

This bracelet was handmade by an Etsy Artist, Tracy Hanson. See all of her beautiful works inspired by her love and passion for adoption at

http://www.etsy.com/shop/JUNKPOSSE

Junkposse.blogspot.com

1 day....

1 day and we are on our way to Ethiopia!! It is surreal. This is really happening!? I have been in such a super-organization/nesting mode that I am looking forward to leaving that behind and being able to emotionally dive into this journey. Right now it feels difficult to fully connect because I am so distracted by everything here with the kids.

I am grateful for the long travel ahead, time alone with Andy and to be able to be fully present in this process. The flights will give us time to talk about all we have been through and the week ahead, which will undoubtedly be one week we will never forget. How often in our lives do we actually know we are meeting one of the most important people in our lives? Almost always, you meet someone who you will love and have no idea in that moment that God has brought you together for a reason, a purpose. We have the beautiful gift of meeting our daughter. Knowing that we already have love for her, will get to know her and her us, and will take a journey together for the rest of our lives. That is so beautiful, isn't it!?

Packing, organizing, nesting...ready to go!

I feel like I have been organizing and nesting for weeks....and I have. The house is as ready as it is going to get. It is quite a task to stay on top of things around here when I have 4 other people working against me. It is just life in all its messiness, but sometimes I wish it would just stay clean! There is this need to be as prepared to leave my boys as possible. Make everything as easy as possible for the babysitter. Of course, I know everything will be fine and acknowledge that I am doing all of this to make myself feel more at ease...everything doesn't HAVE to be in order. But won't it be nice to come home and not have the linen closet be a mess, the kitchen cabinets crumb-filled and disorganized? Yes it will! I have done as much as I can to be able to totally focus on Tessa and the boys when we get home.

Here are photos of the packing....phew! It is I am almost done with this organized mess. We are carrying 4 large suitcases stuffed full of our "stuff" and donations, each with a 50 pound max. That just isn't enough!! I am really minimizing what I will be bringing clothes wise. I always tend to overpack and now is the time to get a handle on that. As you can see, I am a big fan of the space saver vacuum packs....those things are awesome.

A HUGE thank you to all our friends for helping us fill these suitcases with donations: formula, diapers, clothing, children's books, and $$$ for the orphanage. How incredibly grateful we are to you for thinking of Tessa, the orphanage that has been caring for her and being apart of this journey to Ethiopia with us. My dear soul friend, Marcie, has also organized meals for us with these same friends! After we return we will have meals delivered to us every Monday and Thursday into May. I can hardly express how much I appreciate this gesture. Thank you dear friends.

1 day and we are off to meet our Sweet girl!

My godchild....

Sweet Max....my god son. How I love and adore this child! He is almost 1 year old now. Where did this past year go? I have such a bond to this child....who he is in the life of my soul friend, Marcie and in my own life. Never have I felt so strongly about another person bringing a child into the world as I did with Max. I just knew he was coming...I knew my friend was not done. And look, here he is all sparkly, sweet and wonderful! So, when this came to fruition it felt so right, like a true blessing. Sweet Max at almost 12 months old. What a beautiful baby boy....and I am his god-mother. I get that very special designation....it makes us family, it makes us connected to each other and you better believe that this god-mama will be watching over with lots of love for a lifetime. Happy first birthday Max!