Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Signs....that is what I have been looking for. Signs of bonding. That I am not a stranger to little Ms. T anymore, even though I know I am not. You know how when you are really, really close to something how you can miss the signs? The ones I have had friends point out "Look at her look at you!" Then I look and say "oh yeh , look at that!"
What I have been looking for are the signs that I am the one she can't live without, signs that she is bonding to me, signs that she knows I am her Mama. How is it that "I", one who prides myself on being very observant, could miss those signs I have been searching for? Then I realized with the help of my dear friend, Marcie, that I have been looking for the signs that I am accustomed to.
What I am realizing is that the signs are there, just a bit more subtle. It also takes time. Tessa is a more relaxed, reserved baby than what I have been use too. Her eyes do like up. She is looking to me in new situations and with new people. Finally, yesterday I got a big obvious sign that I couldn't miss. Ladies from Andy's office came with a Taco Pot Luck, margaritas and gift for all the kids. (I am so spoiled...It was so sweet of them) I didn't expect it, but when I handed Tessa over to the ladies, she looked at me and was upset and fussy. It was the first time I had seen "that look" on her face since the first time I met her. She was wide-eyed and quiet at first and then got really fussy and wanted....me. Yep, she did and I had never felt so happy to have a fussy baby. The signs are there. I am learning, I am tuning in to "her" signs.