i heart faces- smile

i heart faces: smile

As I was thinking of all the many smiles I could share, this photo from Ethiopia came to mind.  

I was riding on the bus with our travel group coming back from our journey to Hosanna, Ethiopia.  It was the most emotional day of my life. (post from this day is at This is big love).  I was filled with gratitude and a heavy heart.  Our bus slowed down and these beautiful girls walking on the side of the road caught my eye.  They saw me too.  The girl in green began saying hello me, waving and smiling.  Then, who I assume is her sister, started to pull her away as if she felt embarrassed by her sister's behavior.  It was a cute interaction and made me smile.  And just look at those beautiful girls...smiles and all in what feels like a world away, but isn't.

These girls remind me that we have so much to be grateful for, so much to smile about.

resolution

Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is a mystery.  And today?  Today is a gift.  That's why we call it the present.  ~Babatunde Olatunji


I resolve to be ever present in the present.  More present as a Mom, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter.  This is about relationships....my most important blessing.  They are my priceless gifts.  I want more than anything to be able to fully soak up all of this life in the present moment.

I love this photo.  Love it, adore it.  I love it in its imperfection: a mirror shot, low light and taken on the timer.  The focus is off.  But this is me, staying in the present, even when it isn't perfect....and showing that.  Being present in the present doesn't consist of me being behind the camera.  In this moment it meant setting my camera down, pointing, hitting the timer and waiting.

But if you look and can feel it....Tessa is totally secure, loved.  

And I am totally present.

One of the ways in which I am committing to be present is by 

being apart of the Rockin' Mama Challenge.  Rock alone for 15 minutes a day with your child.  I have been rocking with Tessa for long periods since she came home.  My instincts told me we needed that alone time to connect, so I could teach her that I can soothe her.  Our rocking chair in her room is right next to her mirrored closet door.  I have loved that when she didn't want to make eye contact, she could look at us together.  We can make eye contact through the mirror as we rock.  

So, why participate in the challenge when I have already been doing this?  Because since I feel like we are becoming more and more bonded, I feel less of a need to carve this time out.  I don't want to lose the momentum we have in our bonding process.  I love it and this commits me to continue rocking, to stay present in it when I am tempted to be distracted by life's demands.  Staying present!

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express lane= stranger safety

Beware of the express lane at Walmart.  It meant a wake up call for me and a good talk about stranger safety....here goes-

I had ventured to Walmart with all three boys last weekend.  Not sure why I would do such a thing when Andy was home....sometimes I do need my head checked.  But they had been cooped up on a cold day. So, a Walmart outing seemed harmless.

We had a cart FULL.  As always happens.  That is when the manager eagerly encouraged me to just go ahead and use the empty "Express Lane".  Even though I clearly had a cart full....over the 15 item limit.  The clerk was fine with it to.  So, of course I was on a mission to get the heck out of Walmart asap.

As I unloaded the cart JackJack ran across the way to the evil arcade area.  I could see him, he didn't have coins but was happily pretending he was playing games.  So I continued to unload.  Right about then 2 more customers show up at Express check out with there handful of items.  Yep, I was the jerk in express check-out!  They didn't get to see the manager eagerly encourage me into the express lane.  There was some eye-rolling and huffing at me.  So, I pick up the unloading pace.  Jud and Drew needed to spend their coins on their little items and so I sent them to the back of the line, in an attempt to be courteous.

Just then as I am being handed the receipt I hear over the loud speaker "Will Jack's Mom please come to customer service".   That's me!   I look over at the arcade....no Jack.  People are looking at the crazy lady running to customer service.

There is my sad, scared little guy.  "Mama, I got scared.  I didn't know where you were".  Oh, Jack, honey!   While I am on the floor giving him big hugs, I am also explaining myself to customer service.  I could see him in the arcade, but obviously I was distracted with the express lane checkout when he walked out and didn't see me.  A couple saw he was scared.  He didn't want to talk to a "don't know", they said he was afraid to talk to them or go with them, but did agree to go find someone who worked at Walmart to find Mom.

("The Safe Side" is our favorite video about stranger safety, that is where the "don't know" speak comes from.  www.thesafeside.com   I really can't say enough about this video...my kids actually like watching it and it is a FANTASTIC way to talk about stranger safety....check it out at the library or just order it and watch it a 100 times like us.  created by John Walsh and the creator of baby Einstein, Julie Clark   Click this link:    The Safe Side)



Of course, my mind went to all sorts of places.  What if it hadn't been a nice, harmless couple helping Jack? What if there had been a predator there when Jack was so vulnerable without me?   Would he have been strong enough to refuse to leave the building with someone?  I can't know for sure, but it certainly brings up the need to have more conversations and reinforce what he did to stay safe.
 I felt like the- worst. mama. ever.   Not earning any Parent of the Year award here!

So, I take Jack back with me to get the unsupervised big boys at the express lane.  Jud had checked out with his small toy and said a guy behind him had to give him a quarter to be able to pay because he didn't have enough money!  geez.....    All the while Drew is standing there with a bag of coins.  Then of course, I see Drew is trying to check out with several items and his bag of coins.  The clerk hands him a pack of gum and says "you do have enough for this".  I didn't look behind us in the line, but I am pretty sure there was more huffing and eye-rolling.

(this is Jack, Jack with his usually cheerful, silly face)

Good grief.           Moral....even when invited, be leery of the express lane at Walmart, its just trouble for an overwhelmed Mama and will lead to losing children without knowing it, eye-rolling, huffing and puffing.

And....get the Safe Side video.  Talk to your kids about "Don't Knows" and who their safe people are.   You just never know.  Wake up call complete.

who, who

This is my little owl friend.  We haven't named him yet, but he is deserving of a special name.   I have been exhaustively searching on-line for an owl cookie jar.  Not exactly sure why.  Strange thing to search for for hours, right? But looking for my perfect owl cookie jar became a little bit of an obsession for me!

Why?   Well, I first saw an owl cookie jar in passing in the kitchen of my favorite show, Modern Family, and just loved the idea of having a "kooky" cookie jar.  Something my fun, unique that my kids will remember dipping their little hands into for my cookies.  I really think that is it....creating a sweet memory...."kooky for cookies".

He now sits on my kitchen counter and asks
"Who, who wants a cookie?".....me, of course!

"Who, who stole a cookie from the cookie jar?"....me of course!

He is a really happy, friendly owl, though and  he doesn't judge.  If you look on-line at owl cookie jars you will see there are many crabby, judgmental owls out there.  Who needs that in their kitchen cookie jar?  Not me.  I mean, look at him, he is advertising his cookies for pete's sake on his nice round tummy.  And he is wise (he knows cookies are necessary), I mean isn't anyone who has ever worn a graduation cap?

So, after an exhaustive search on-line, many lost ebay auctions and one broken owl jar (Mom's gift to me) that was delivered, Mom and I decided after Christmas to have some fun antiquing.  I really didn't expect to run into an owl cookie jar as my search had been solely on-line.  Funny thing is that this guy was in an antique store right here in town all along!  Just waiting and asking,

"Who, who will take me home, fill me with cookies and love me?"...me, of course!

Thank you Mom for my cookie jar.  I love it....and I love that we found it together and will think of you every time I dip my little hand in for a cookie.

($%*@&! the lost Christmas

We had a wonderfully, relaxing, exciting and fun Christmas.  Full of believing, love and giving.  Christmas Eve at church. Juddy, Drew and Jack all sang in front of the church.  We went out to dinner as a family.  Santa was up late but did a fantastic job.  That Santa is so savvy.   Christmas morning was wonderful.  Why have I not shared our Christmas photos?  What is wrong with Jeni?
#$@%@#....you know what that means.  Gad-nab-it!  ;)

Our Christmas morning photos are gone.  Utterly, totally erased.  And I did it.  I am so bummed and feeling so angry with myself.  It was a really quick flick of my index finger in a mindless moment.

For some unknown reason a camera error popped up as I was uploading my Christmas morning photos.  I went to click the ok button to acknowledge the #$@)%* error and then realized that instead I just "clicked" the delete all photos button.
oh...#@($)*%@#!!  And then there was nothing.

And I have already taken down all the decorations, so I can't try and fake a few Christmas morning photos.  Darn it.  Tessa's first Christmas morning.  Our family all together on Christmas morning.

Here is the bright side (there always needs to be one).  Andy took quite a bit of video on our old tape video recorder.  So, we do have that.  Maybe I can play that on our t.v. and try and get some still shots.

Here are a few random shots from Christmas Eve and than later on Chrismas Day.

Judson and Drew singing in the Children's Choir....and Candle light during Silent night...beautiful

Tessa's all-time favorite xmas gift "Brobee" (held by Jack).  He danced and sang.  Notice past tense.  I think she wore him out within a couple hours.  Sometimes he will work. Today he did not at all.  Poor Brobee.  Jack and Tes are standing on Jack's indoor trampoline.  Yes, I am somewhat crazy for indoor energy exertion.   A must for winters with 3 boys.  Another huge hit, and it is still in the family room.

Andy's brother, Ben, with sweet baby Ingrid and Tessa.

Autntie Alex with Baby Ingrid...adorable little sweetie pie

Notice Tessa's red kitchen (from Christmas morning) in the background and the mess all around.  That is Christmas morning only worse.   Here Jack is in an action shot and loving his "shooter"!

So, that is what I have until I take still shots from video.  There are worse things in the world, I know.  Losing photos is a bummer.  And that is where it will stay.  A big bummer.  I am just glad we had our Christmas together...a really wonderful Christmas.

paper mama photo challenge: sparkly!

the paper mama photo challenge: Sparkly!

Well, you know I love a photo challenge.  Another one for today from "Paper Mama".  And only one photo comes to mind.  I found this chandelier long before Tessa came home, and I love that she loves it and the way it sparkles in her room!

Check out the paper mama....and her total awesomeness!

i heart faces- best face of 2010

Please vote for my photo by clicking this link here:
 i heart faces- best face of 2010 photo contest
Photo #187!!!  Thank you!!!


I don't know about you, but choosing the best face of 2010 is truly a challenge!  



But here goes....(drum roll) it is our sweet girl!  Not a big surprise, as this face had more face time with my camera than any other in the past year!  2010 was a big year for our family and for this sweet face, and here is why.


-saw that sweet face for the first time in her referral photo (she was 10 weeks old)
- studied her sweet face in the social report from the care center
-kissed her sweet face for the first time on Feb 26th, 2010
- wiped tears away on this sweet face and later saw her first smile for us at the care center
    in Ethiopia
- and over time saw this sweet face go from uncertainty to the smile below...connected, loved, secure

And as I type this, that sweet face is sitting next to me singing her rendition of 

"Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun, please shine down on me".....   

But I think her sweet face is shining on all of us right now.

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