Summers days come to an end

The last weekend of summer was spent in Minnesota.  Our very special Nana just celebrated her 60th birthday with lots of surprises (Pops provided his own).  Our surprise was to show up at her house when she came home from work on a Wednesday.  She never expected that!  The kids were so excited for that garage door to open!  It was fun to be with Nana and the family on her birthday.  We miss so many  birthday celebrations with that side of the family being so far away.  Nana thought her birthday celebration was over, but we surprised her again.  Pops offered to take the boys all day Saturday so I was able to set it up for Barb and Cori to come with us for a day at the spa.  ahhhhhhhh.  It was a wonderful day.

The end of summer in MN means the MN State Fair.  So, Pops helped me take the boys and their cousin, Grace there for a couple hours.  We hit some rides and of course ate our favorites: mini-donuts, corn on the cob, corn dogs.  Yummy.  I even let the kids have cotton candy!  What a treat!

           Dad and I stopped over by the old, old house at 1079 Ingerson in Shoreview to take a photo by the tree we have planted together.  This was also the first home to me and my brother and sister.  Sadly, the tree had been taken down earlier in the summer after it spilt.  Well, it did have a nice long life of over 30 years!

We arrived home to the construction....major construction.  The septic system is being installed, which means at least 4 trucks ripping up my backyard.  Yes, totally ripping up my entire back yard.  The electrician, security guy, and house painter was here power washing the house.  And of course the contractor was working on the garage.  It was chaotic!  Ugh.  The garage project is looking great.  Boy, I sure will appreciate having an attached garage and art studio upstairs!  

The first day of school tomorrow....for all the boys!  A big day.  More to come....

The facts and what I must do.

It has been incredibly difficult these days trying to reconcile the facts that are preventing us from bringing sweet Tirunesh home.  The facts are.....we still do not have a court date.  (Even through people who received a referral after us do). Our delay in receiving a court date is due to some details in the referral that need to be worked out.  This means the paperwork had to go back to Irco, the region where T is from, to be resolved.  This takes "time".  And from what I can tell that is not US time, but Ethiopian time, which seems to mean they will get to it when they get to it.  Nothing can be definite on time.  So, we wait for a court date in Irco for the paperwork issue.  Then we wait for the BIG court date when we become T's parents.  Then after the judge says "yes" you are Ts parents legally we get to schedule travel 6-8 weeks later.  With the month long court closure in September, it could be winter by the time we travel.   Those are the facts.

There are more facts...That I know very little about our sweet girl. I have T's weight and height measurements given every 2 weeks.  She is small, but growing slowly.  She is crawling, playing with toys and feeding herself.  But the fact remains that I don't know what T's smile looks like, what her laugh sounds like, which toy she loves the most, who she is the most attached to, how she is sleeping, what her favorite foods are, and what she is feeling.  I could go on.

The other fact in this situation is that I can choose how to handle these facts.  It is often very difficult to reconcile.  I feel angry and sad that we are missing time with T.  The fact is I must trust the T is getting everything she needs.  I pray all her needs are being met and that someone is making her feel special and loved like we would.  The fact is I can't make this time go any faster, I can't persuade anyone to get us a court date, and I can't do anything to really know T right now.  

The fact is I must surrender to the facts.  I must trust the universe's plan.  I must maintain hope for the best possible outcome, while also knowing I have done as much as possible.  I must believe in God's divine intervention in this whole process.  I must....

I must be the best Mom I can be to the children right here in my home.  I must be ever present in my marriage.  I must do what I need to do to take care of myself to get through this time.  I must see the big picture...that one day Tirunesh will be home with us, that we will be able to nurture her and love her and spend the rest of our lives continuing this pursuit.  Those are the facts...and what I must do.

Into August...

Today we made the trek to Milwaukee to be finger-printed....AGAIN....at the Homeland Security office.  They will expire soon and since the process is taking longer than anticipated we need to have them current to bring our sweet Tirunesh home.  Today we also received an update on her height and weight.  It looks like she is growing just fine.  She is still small for her age in weight.  It is bitter sweet to receive these updates.  I want sooo badly to know more about our sweet girl and while I am grateful for an update on her height and weight, I am sooo anxious to know more! What are T's favorite toys? what makes her smile and giggle?  What are her favorite foods?  What soothes her when she is upset?  I could go on and on.  This process is beautiful in so many way, but is also incredibly frustrating.  It is so frustrating that our daughter is a world away and we can't find anyway to get to her any sooner.  It is so frustrating that we have to wait for the entities in Ethiopia....the court closing in August means another month added to our wait.  It is all so very frustrating.  There isn't anything anyone can say or do.  I so appreciate people just witnessing it with me.  Sitting with me in the frustration and pushing me into the future of hope.  So, on that note, I leave with photos of the boys and their cousins on the beach from our wonderful visit to Minnesota.  Next year T you will be there too.

Bob the bulldog

For anyone who knows me well, it wasn't going to be too long before we welcomed another dog into our lives and here he is...Bob the Bulldog.  He is a french bulldog that we picked up from a breeder while on our way back to my parents house in MN.  He is such a sweet little guy and we are thrilled!  He really is a mix of our last 2 dogs Porter the Pug and BlueBoy in both his coloring and shape.  It has been a month since we lost Blue boy and boy, what a month! But we feel like it is a good time for us to bring this pup into our family.  We have plenty of time to house train him and work on basic commands with him before we bring Tirunesh home.

Speaking of sweet T....we wait for more news on Tirunesh.  It is difficult to know she is growing and changing every day and that we can't be with her because we must wait.  Wait for our request for a court date, wait to receive the court date, WAIT, WAIT!  It is bittersweet torture.  I have sent out a care package for her, which will travel with an agency family so it is only a 1 gallon ziplock bag full.  But I certainly used my space well in that ziplock!  I wish so much that I could start knowing her today.  We are getting little updates on development and growth here and there, and she is doing well.  But there is so much I don't know about her.  Actually, I don't have it in me to make that list right now because it is just to difficult.  

I am thinking of you all the time sweet T.  Sending our love out to you!  We have a puppy for you to love now! ;)

Referral Day!!!!!

 
(The boys checking out their sister)

What a day!  This morning, bright and early at 7:05 a.m., we received a call from our social worker with the much anticipated referral for our sweet girl.  We were so happy because Andy was still at home to receive the phone call and see the email come through with all the information.  That was sure a moment.  My head was spinning with emotions!  Our daughter!  Our daughter!  This is our daughter.  We looked over all the information, but I could hardly take my eyes off of her!

To see her photograph for the first time was overwhelmingly wonderful.  She is just a beautiful, sweet girl.  My first reaction to her photo was that she looks sad and confused...and really maybe she is right now.  Or perhaps she just wasn't in the mood for a photo, who knows, but it isn't surprising to me that I would project what I think she might be feeling onto her photo.  Her little face is just precious, fine features, beautiful chocolate skin, fuzzy hair, perfect rosebud lips and big brown eyes.  She is a beauty.  She is also very healthy!!  It looks like she is a underweight at approximately 14 pounds right now, but that isn't surprising considering the state of many children in Ethiopia.  It is good to know that she is now getting all of her physical needs met in the orphanage....enough food and I pray and trust that she is getting enough love and attention.  I would love nothing more than to just hop on a plane to Ethiopia and snuggle this little one!  I wish I could share her photo with you, but they restrict us from doing that until she is "legally" our daughter and that will happen after court.  When the court date is is still unknown and will hopefully be scheduled before the court closure that begins August 7th.  Oh, how I hope we will get through the court closure!  So, there will be more waiting, but know we know who our daughter is. 

 All the feelings I have had over the last many months have left me worried for her, wondering where she is and what could be happening.  I have the answers to some of those questions and believe I now understand why I was worried.  I think I have been connected to her for some time and now I will actually get to know her and guide her on this journey of life.  What a tremendous and joyful honor that is.  I love you sweet girl....

Blue Boy

It has been a sad time at the Rikkers...our sweet spirited dog, Blue Boy, died very unexpectedly. His death was a tragic accident and leaves us with very sad and heavy hearts.

We will remember you Blue Boy....how much you loved each of us and wanted to kiss us and touch you whenever we could. How much you LOVED playing ball in the yard, and how you always amazed us with your speed and agility. How you would bark at us to throw it again and again and again. Your sweet, loving spirit....so unconditional. How you would nudge us to keep petting you the moment our hand would stop. How you would jump up on the couch and make yourself a comfy little stop for yourself. How you would sleep and snuggle with us and put your body under the covers and head up by ours on the pillow...just like a little person would. We will remember you as a puppy...so small and sweet. The day I found you and you held your paw up to me to please me, and how you continued to do that whenever you wanted to please me. How you escaped from the fence at the old house, were hit by a car and came home nearly untouched by it all. Then to prevent your skinny body from getting through the fence, how I had you were a doggy backpack with waterbottles in it. How you would jump on people because you were so excited to meet and see them...and you meant it...and how much that annoyed me. How you would bark to protect us like a big dog would. I will always remember how you were symbolic of these days in our family life- full of energy and love...just like you.

Blue boy I am so sorry for your death. I am so sorry. But I am also so glad that you were apart of our lives. The boys will always remember you and love you as their first dog. And we will always love you for loving us the way you did. Good-bye Blue Boy... good boy.

Really? 14 months!

Really...it has been 14 months of official waiting.  And as I think about it I realize it has now been 2 years since we officially started this process.  Wow.  I am so glad we had the foresight to start when we did.  Jack was such a peanut (9months) when we started, but I remember thinking that it would make for a good age difference between he and our daughter.  I do think that is still true, but the wait is wearing on me.  Some days I do really well with distracting myself.  And for a while I wasn't on edge about it, knowing it wasn't time.  Then last week with all this talk about the upcoming court closure, my mind is on things much more.  I really feel like we are incredibly close so whenever the phone rings my heart skips a beat.   The other day the pediatric office called and said "Is Jennifer there?".  I responded with a very excited, "Yes, this is!".  She must have thought I sounded like a nut, because then she said "This is Katie from Pediatrics...Drew's culture was negative".  Oh.  Anyway, that is what it has been like lately.

The agency is hopeful that anyone who receives a referral by the end of this week will pass court in Ethiopia before the court closure.  Our specialist has said "You are soooooooo clost.  We just need a bunch of referrals.  It is going to be a close one."  AHHHH!!!!   So, now I need to work on accepting, once again, my lack of control in this process.  It is very likely we will hit the court closure and have an extra 2 months added to our wait to travel to our daughter.  Now I am focusing on just receiving the referral and all that that means:  we will know who our daughter is, we will be able to see her photo, we will know her health and social history, we will know she is safe and being cared for at the care center, we will KNOW....   I will hang on and hope that the next blog post is "the post"!!

Here are some recent photos of us enjoying the lake.  As you can see, we will need to find a new name for the boat!  Next summer for sure!