fiddlehead.....every changing, ever growing

fiddlehead....ever changing, ever growing

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The facts and what I must do.

It has been incredibly difficult these days trying to reconcile the facts that are preventing us from bringing sweet Tirunesh home.  The facts are.....we still do not have a court date.  (Even through people who received a referral after us do). Our delay in receiving a court date is due to some details in the referral that need to be worked out.  This means the paperwork had to go back to Irco, the region where T is from, to be resolved.  This takes "time".  And from what I can tell that is not US time, but Ethiopian time, which seems to mean they will get to it when they get to it.  Nothing can be definite on time.  So, we wait for a court date in Irco for the paperwork issue.  Then we wait for the BIG court date when we become T's parents.  Then after the judge says "yes" you are Ts parents legally we get to schedule travel 6-8 weeks later.  With the month long court closure in September, it could be winter by the time we travel.   Those are the facts.

There are more facts...That I know very little about our sweet girl. I have T's weight and height measurements given every 2 weeks.  She is small, but growing slowly.  She is crawling, playing with toys and feeding herself.  But the fact remains that I don't know what T's smile looks like, what her laugh sounds like, which toy she loves the most, who she is the most attached to, how she is sleeping, what her favorite foods are, and what she is feeling.  I could go on.

The other fact in this situation is that I can choose how to handle these facts.  It is often very difficult to reconcile.  I feel angry and sad that we are missing time with T.  The fact is I must trust the T is getting everything she needs.  I pray all her needs are being met and that someone is making her feel special and loved like we would.  The fact is I can't make this time go any faster, I can't persuade anyone to get us a court date, and I can't do anything to really know T right now.  

The fact is I must surrender to the facts.  I must trust the universe's plan.  I must maintain hope for the best possible outcome, while also knowing I have done as much as possible.  I must believe in God's divine intervention in this whole process.  I must....

I must be the best Mom I can be to the children right here in my home.  I must be ever present in my marriage.  I must do what I need to do to take care of myself to get through this time.  I must see the big picture...that one day Tirunesh will be home with us, that we will be able to nurture her and love her and spend the rest of our lives continuing this pursuit.  Those are the facts...and what I must do.

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