fiddlehead.....every changing, ever growing

fiddlehead....ever changing, ever growing

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

dear first Mama

Dear first mother,

For years I have been sending you love in prayers hoping they would reach you.   Knowing you were bringing our daughter into the world.  And then not knowing if we would ever know you or be able to find you.

I barely have the words to express our love and gratitude for you.   You chose to bring this beautiful life into the world under very difficult circumstances.   Thank you for making that choice, for carrying this life and bringing her into the world.   We can only imagine the pain of being unable to raise this precious life.  What you have been through isn't fair.  We want you to know she will be raised with you in our hearts, knowing the struggle you went through to bring this life into the world, and knowing the grief of relinquishing her to another.

Please know how grateful we are that you shared information about yourself for Tessa.   Thank you for sharing your story and giving it to our  daughter.    Being able to have some answers for her about you, and her first days is a gift like no other imaginable.  To have your words, to have your grace and for her to be able to see your image on the video is the most beautiful gift that will be treasured by our daughter and future generations.  

We can't know what your heart is feeling.  It is our prayer that your heart feels a sense of peace.  Peace in knowing that you will be known to our daughter.  Peace in knowing that she is being given a life full of love, where she will have every opportunity given to her and that she will be taught to love and know about the world and life outside of this priviledge. 

In the years to come as we raise our daughter you will never be forgotten.  Your name will fall lovingly and frequently on our daughter's ears.  She will know that your heart wanted to raise her, but that you were unable to.  She will know that the life you were born into was unfair and did not allow you the choices and options that our daughter will have.  She will know.      

With such love, gratitude and respect.


Shannon- said...

<3 love love love.

gina said...

Beautiful, beautiful Jennifer. Just loved your heart here and your vulnerability. Thanks for sharing with all of us....what a neat keepsake for Tessa. What an amazing way for her also to see how incredible her Momma is...(you)...and her other momma...

S said...

Tessa has two amazing mamas.

MarksMomma said...

I just followed the link to your blog from Ethio-Stork. We are in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia, too.
I'm a children's illustrator, and a lot of my art is adoption-related. Feel free to check out my Etsy store: - the "woven together" print (honoring birth mother and forever momma) might be of interest to you. Send me a quick eMail to mossyrockdesigns(at) and I'll even send you a coupon code for 10% off. :o)

Thank you for visiting the fiddlehead report!