Bob the bulldog

For anyone who knows me well, it wasn't going to be too long before we welcomed another dog into our lives and here he is...Bob the Bulldog.  He is a french bulldog that we picked up from a breeder while on our way back to my parents house in MN.  He is such a sweet little guy and we are thrilled!  He really is a mix of our last 2 dogs Porter the Pug and BlueBoy in both his coloring and shape.  It has been a month since we lost Blue boy and boy, what a month! But we feel like it is a good time for us to bring this pup into our family.  We have plenty of time to house train him and work on basic commands with him before we bring Tirunesh home.

Speaking of sweet T....we wait for more news on Tirunesh.  It is difficult to know she is growing and changing every day and that we can't be with her because we must wait.  Wait for our request for a court date, wait to receive the court date, WAIT, WAIT!  It is bittersweet torture.  I have sent out a care package for her, which will travel with an agency family so it is only a 1 gallon ziplock bag full.  But I certainly used my space well in that ziplock!  I wish so much that I could start knowing her today.  We are getting little updates on development and growth here and there, and she is doing well.  But there is so much I don't know about her.  Actually, I don't have it in me to make that list right now because it is just to difficult.  

I am thinking of you all the time sweet T.  Sending our love out to you!  We have a puppy for you to love now! ;)

Referral Day!!!!!

 
(The boys checking out their sister)

What a day!  This morning, bright and early at 7:05 a.m., we received a call from our social worker with the much anticipated referral for our sweet girl.  We were so happy because Andy was still at home to receive the phone call and see the email come through with all the information.  That was sure a moment.  My head was spinning with emotions!  Our daughter!  Our daughter!  This is our daughter.  We looked over all the information, but I could hardly take my eyes off of her!

To see her photograph for the first time was overwhelmingly wonderful.  She is just a beautiful, sweet girl.  My first reaction to her photo was that she looks sad and confused...and really maybe she is right now.  Or perhaps she just wasn't in the mood for a photo, who knows, but it isn't surprising to me that I would project what I think she might be feeling onto her photo.  Her little face is just precious, fine features, beautiful chocolate skin, fuzzy hair, perfect rosebud lips and big brown eyes.  She is a beauty.  She is also very healthy!!  It looks like she is a underweight at approximately 14 pounds right now, but that isn't surprising considering the state of many children in Ethiopia.  It is good to know that she is now getting all of her physical needs met in the orphanage....enough food and I pray and trust that she is getting enough love and attention.  I would love nothing more than to just hop on a plane to Ethiopia and snuggle this little one!  I wish I could share her photo with you, but they restrict us from doing that until she is "legally" our daughter and that will happen after court.  When the court date is is still unknown and will hopefully be scheduled before the court closure that begins August 7th.  Oh, how I hope we will get through the court closure!  So, there will be more waiting, but know we know who our daughter is. 

 All the feelings I have had over the last many months have left me worried for her, wondering where she is and what could be happening.  I have the answers to some of those questions and believe I now understand why I was worried.  I think I have been connected to her for some time and now I will actually get to know her and guide her on this journey of life.  What a tremendous and joyful honor that is.  I love you sweet girl....

Blue Boy

It has been a sad time at the Rikkers...our sweet spirited dog, Blue Boy, died very unexpectedly. His death was a tragic accident and leaves us with very sad and heavy hearts.

We will remember you Blue Boy....how much you loved each of us and wanted to kiss us and touch you whenever we could. How much you LOVED playing ball in the yard, and how you always amazed us with your speed and agility. How you would bark at us to throw it again and again and again. Your sweet, loving spirit....so unconditional. How you would nudge us to keep petting you the moment our hand would stop. How you would jump up on the couch and make yourself a comfy little stop for yourself. How you would sleep and snuggle with us and put your body under the covers and head up by ours on the pillow...just like a little person would. We will remember you as a puppy...so small and sweet. The day I found you and you held your paw up to me to please me, and how you continued to do that whenever you wanted to please me. How you escaped from the fence at the old house, were hit by a car and came home nearly untouched by it all. Then to prevent your skinny body from getting through the fence, how I had you were a doggy backpack with waterbottles in it. How you would jump on people because you were so excited to meet and see them...and you meant it...and how much that annoyed me. How you would bark to protect us like a big dog would. I will always remember how you were symbolic of these days in our family life- full of energy and love...just like you.

Blue boy I am so sorry for your death. I am so sorry. But I am also so glad that you were apart of our lives. The boys will always remember you and love you as their first dog. And we will always love you for loving us the way you did. Good-bye Blue Boy... good boy.

Really? 14 months!

Really...it has been 14 months of official waiting.  And as I think about it I realize it has now been 2 years since we officially started this process.  Wow.  I am so glad we had the foresight to start when we did.  Jack was such a peanut (9months) when we started, but I remember thinking that it would make for a good age difference between he and our daughter.  I do think that is still true, but the wait is wearing on me.  Some days I do really well with distracting myself.  And for a while I wasn't on edge about it, knowing it wasn't time.  Then last week with all this talk about the upcoming court closure, my mind is on things much more.  I really feel like we are incredibly close so whenever the phone rings my heart skips a beat.   The other day the pediatric office called and said "Is Jennifer there?".  I responded with a very excited, "Yes, this is!".  She must have thought I sounded like a nut, because then she said "This is Katie from Pediatrics...Drew's culture was negative".  Oh.  Anyway, that is what it has been like lately.

The agency is hopeful that anyone who receives a referral by the end of this week will pass court in Ethiopia before the court closure.  Our specialist has said "You are soooooooo clost.  We just need a bunch of referrals.  It is going to be a close one."  AHHHH!!!!   So, now I need to work on accepting, once again, my lack of control in this process.  It is very likely we will hit the court closure and have an extra 2 months added to our wait to travel to our daughter.  Now I am focusing on just receiving the referral and all that that means:  we will know who our daughter is, we will be able to see her photo, we will know her health and social history, we will know she is safe and being cared for at the care center, we will KNOW....   I will hang on and hope that the next blog post is "the post"!!

Here are some recent photos of us enjoying the lake.  As you can see, we will need to find a new name for the boat!  Next summer for sure!

Ready and waiting!

On May 17th it was 13 months of waiting...and so we wait for the referral for our sweet girl.  Since, I can't control anything about any of this I went into high gear and finally completed her bedroom.  It may sound supertiscous (spelled incorrectly...I am too tired to try and figure that word out today!!!), but it feels like maybe if I get her room totally ready for her that the universe will know it.  Somehow, now I am sending the energy into the universe that we are totally ready...her room is adorable and waiting for her!  Silly, it may be, but what the heck why not!  

As you could see in one of the photos Jack hasn't totally given up the idea of the crib being for our little girl.  He likes to crawl in it and say "My crib".  He doesn't seem to mind all the pink!

If you are reading this please send a message into the universe for our sweet girl...to bring her to all of us, to keep her safe, healthy and wrapped in our love.

P.S.  All the fabric for the bedding and curtains was designed by Melissa Averinos.  Her blog is www.yummygoods.com     I LOVE her style!

Drew is 6!!!

Our sweet boy, Drew, is now 6!  He is so proud to be 6 years old and proudly shares it with everyone he encounters.  He had a very nice birthday with a trip to Chuck E. Cheese with our neighbors, the Leuzingers, the night before the big day and then a family birthday party at home the next night.  He loved his batman cake, but the best surprise came when Pops showed up to celebrate with him!  Drew was thrilled!!

We love you so baby Drew....opps, your a big boy now!   

My heart on Mother's Day

Here Jack is giving us his heart for mother's day.  It is a "bleeding heart" flower from my garden.  And in a way I feel like my heart is bleeding.  It is bleeding with my intense love for my children.  I love them so much it sometimes hurts!  At other times it bleeds with emotion for my sweet girl whom I do not know on this mother's day.  Today my heart bleeds for my sweet girl's birth mother and for the reasons she is not able to care for her our sweet girl.  It bleeds with desire to know and hold my daughter.  It bleeds with love for my daughter in Africa and for the sons I am able to love and cherish each day.  As a mom your heart bleeds....