These flowers have brightened our home and today I am dedicating them to our sweet girl. We have now been on the waiting list 10 months! This period is winding down and hopefully in a couple months I can write that we have a referral and know who our sweetie is. But for now I know she is out there somewhere...whether she is born or not can't be known, but she is definitely out there and on our journey to us, just as we are on our journey to her. I am also thinking of her birth family and what they might be feeling. My heart is heavy for whatever they are going through that will bring our daughter to us. Their loss and grief will be our gift and joy. It is difficult to reconcile, but it is my hope that they have hope for her and that is what brings them to this decision.
In the meantime, I will continue to nest...her room is half painted and will soon be all "cotton candy" pink! Painting her room and creating the space that we will bring her home to makes it all feel more real than ever. We reman stagnant on her name. I have my favorites and Andy hasn't really been able to determine a favorite yet . I shouldn't be surprised as it wasn't any different with the boys. Once they were born, Andy was really able to be present in the naming process. I think he needs to be able to place the name with the child and has difficulty with that any sooner. So, I suspect that while I love the fun of discussing names that we won't really be able to narrow it down until we see our daughter's photo. For now I love Elodie, Olivia, Ruby.
I think her given name in Ethiopia will likely be her middle name. I can't imagine taking that away from her, especially if her mother named her. I feels so important to me to carry that with her. More to come in that department as well. ;)
That is today... February 17th., 2009.
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